i'm currently "handling" my emotions best I can. i often go days without a single tear, then suddenly I hear a song that reminds me so much of her, and i just completely lose it, and when i lose it, i can't stop. i went to see a friend play at hotel cafe the other night, but my emotions got the best of me, and i just cried and cried and cried and cried some more. i'm sure the people sitting across from me thought I was crazy, but i just couldn't stop. my life feels incomplete without her, and i am often reminded by the lyrics of many songs. i frequently ask myself if i will ever feel the way i did the day before she killed herself. it'll get better, it has to.
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i've been keeping myself very busy, photographing continuously. just this week we photographed a wedding at the heritage square museum, candace nelson for sprinkles cupcakes, and maya brenner at her office and her home. it's definitely been keeping my mind occupied which i'm so thankful for, and I am beyond grateful to be doing what I love. i just think this whole grieving "thing" is going to take some time. xo
8 comments:
I know that nothing I say (or write) will console you right now. But I have been there. Unfortunately, it will never be the same. However, it will get better. You will learn to cope, to smile again, to not think about her in every context. You will not lose the memories. You will start to remember the good ones more often than the ones that make you question how.
Sending you all the good vibes I can right now.
Sending you a giant hug today, friend. xo.
sending you all the good vibes I can, too. I hope today is a smiley day.
Music can be so moving sometimes. If I saw someone crying at The Hotel Cafe (or anywhere) I wouldn't think they were crazy. I'd wonder what was wrong and wish I could help.
thinking of you Kim... <3 <3 <3 wish i could give you a hug!!! that's the first thing i intend to do next time we hang out <3
It's so sad that you are going through that :( I wish I knew something to say or do that would help. You are brave for facing it and talking about it.
staying busy always helps. hang in there, friend! love you!
hope you get through it...sending my love...
xx joana
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